By A. Elizabeth
The Queer nation is much like the Deaf community, and is made up of all races, cultures, backgrounds, religions, economic status and kinds of people coming together to create it. One of our symbols is a “Rainbow Flag” that stands not only to symbolize our strength and free expression, but also our rich diversity. But in reality, are we really accepting and diverse?
Who are the Bisexuals out here and where do they fit into the Gay and Lesbian community? Are they the people who can’t make up their mind to be Gay/Lesbian or straight? Are they the people who are truly gay, but refuse to admit it? Are they confused and don’t know what they want?
No! Bisexuals are the people out here who are decidedly Bisexual. Just as being Gay, Lesbian or straight is not a choice, neither is being Bisexual. It is often more difficult for someone to accept the fact that he/she is bisexual than any other sexual identity because of the negative response and pressure that is felt from everyone. Gays/Lesbians and straights alike stand in unison and call “Come on! Make up your mind! You can’t possibly like to be with both men and women!”
Many times, this causes confusion, fear, and even bitterness at the very people who should be greeting bisexuals with open arms. While across the Gay/Lesbian community, closet doors are swinging wide open, and people are being embraced, bisexuals are still being shunned by many.
If any group of people is surveyed about what it was and is about their partner that caused them to fall in love, or remain in love, the results would probably be very similar. People fall in love with people, and sexual identity is only one part of a person. While it is true that sexual intimacy is a part of being in love, people rarely fall in love and stay in love only because their partner is “good in bed.” Simply, sex is the result, not the reason.
Let’s look at it one final way. Some people are clearly tops, while others are just as clearly bottoms, and some are “switches,” and, like both tops and bottoms, enjoy sexual sharing. Does that mean that any of these three individuals is confused, or missing out on what the other enjoys? Is any one of these three more right than the others?
No. All are part of the difference that makes the Gay and Lesbian community strong. Bisexuals (the “switches” of gender intimacy) also make our community diverse and strong. We need to recognize their vital role and presence in our community!
A. Elizabeth is a proud Deaf Bisexual who contributes regularly to CTN Magazine.
[This Blast from the Past article originally appeared in CTN Magazine’s Fall 1995 / Winter 1996 issue is republished with permission.]